Captains of the Chess Team
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First Contact
Howard is adept at making music with many kitchen implements.

The Captains of the Chess Team
Admirals Club: ex-Captains who have promoted themselves out of the band

Name: George Sanger
Three-Cable Variax, Vocals, Cowbell
Chess Piece: King
Captain: Kurosaki Isshin
Quote: “Sometimes Life hands you a Limo”
Turn Ons: Pirates and Band Politics
Turn Offs: When certain people around here, and I think they know who they are, don't help with the equipment and also don't rock 'cause they don't have “it.” Oh, wait. That's a turn on.
Stated reason for leaving the band: He invented a new musical instrument that only he can hear and he's going on tour with it.

His Holy Majesty Col. Rev. King George “The Fat Man” Sanger, Patron Saint of the Nerds, has been called a legend, a myth, late for dinner, a collector of epithets, and by Destiny to play guitar in The Captains. Now is the time for him to take his place alongside these other icons and just Be in the Frickin' Band. And for cripes sakes try to tune that thing.

Artie: I don't care if you drove through a mountain in Texas. This is New Jersey, and when you play my... when you play my joint, you're just another act. I want some music out'a you characters!
Reno: You want it, Artie? You got it.


Name: Mitchell Westmoreland
Instrument: Whatever's left
Chess Piece: Rook
Captain: Black Barty
Quote: "This won't hurt a bit."
Turn Ons: arrays of arrays, chromatic mediant relationships, tritones, chmod 666, bass players that don't use picks, 18" floor toms, slow music
Turn Offs: wearing tight underwear, your mamma, chmod 777, crappy food, harmony, paying for your healthcare
Stated reason for leaving the band: He was offered a better deal with a band called "Look At The Drummer", including an all-you-can-drink box wine rider at every gig.

Mitchell "r00k.exe" Westmoreland is a master at composition and deconstruction, but is less capable in areas of construction and decomposition. He enjoys box wine. Box wine! But only right after having consumed copious amounts of good wine. This is a lesson in personal financial management that we can all use during the current economic downturn.

Name: Jerry Bellian
Instrument: Anything struck or plucked
Chess Piece: Rook
Captain: Cousteau
Quote: “Want a beer?"
Turn Ons: Anything done well
Turn Offs: Anything well done (eeew)
Stated reason for leaving the band: He and his wife needed more time to play doctor.

Jerry "Rook Hound" Bellian started playing his own drums at the ripe old age of 10 after he had exhausted all friendships with "friends with drums" because he only wanted to play their sisters and drums...I digress. He's a mild mannered geologist by day shooting lasers at rocks, and rocks out as a Captain at night. His uber-geek, hotty wife is a phylogenetisist studying the chloroplast genome. She grows plants only to kill them, extract their DNA and clone them to create a super race of plant mutants that will take over the world. Their son is Spider Man.


Name: Jimmy Bilich
Instrument: Keyboards
Chess piece: Rook, because they get you at the drive-thru
Captain: Morgan
Quote: If you don't know where you're going, your already there.
Turn Ons: Good harmony
Turn Offs: Bad harmony and excess volume
Stated reason for leaving the band: He could tell us, but then he'd have to kill us.

Jimmy started playing piano at the ripe old age of 6. He hated it and was forced to continue lessons until he was 13. Then he got his first electric piano, a Wurlitzer 64 key piano that was virtually impossible to tune. Got into his first rock band at 15. Loves to play Eagles, Lynard Skynard, and music like that. Was converted to C&W in the mid-80s where he made decent money and wound up with more dollars than sense. He came to his senses and figured out that when he got paid to play, it wasn't fun any more. Now he is a Captain. He doesn't have to worry about being paid any more. That's a load off his mind. As an added bonus, he gets to jam with his 14 and 18 year old kids and go see them play at under-21 clubs and football games.

Name: Josh Hamrick
2007, 2008
Instrument: Drums, church bell
Chess Piece: Rook
Captain: Hook
Quote: “After talking to Scott, the stop is apparently on TIME. So, I'll be stopping on time."
Turn Ons: 1's
Turn Offs: 0's
Stated reason for leaving the band: His other band doesn't practice.

Josh "Rook and LOL" Hamrick is a wild and crazy guy who likes to keep the beat in the pocket with the protector. He manages to combine the coolness of being a drummer with the geekness of owning a 6x4 ft painting of Halo's own Master Chief. Fortunately for him he managed to totally con a hot girl into falling in love with him. How you ask... The world may never know! When asked to join the Captains, he cried.


Name: Troupe Gammage
Years: 2007, 2008
Instrument: Keyboards, smoke machine
Chess piece: Pawn
Captain: Bell.
Quote: “It'd be a lot more like producing if I was a pro.”
Turn Ons: Moog, pronounced correctly.
Turn Offs: Moog, pronounced incorrectly.
Stated reason for leaving the band: His other band was busy "making it". Besides, he spilled gravy on his e-mail account and his dog ate it.

Troupe “Mighty Mega Pawn” Gammage is internationally known as an international man of mystery. The rest of the band finds this to be mysterious. Troupe has been playing with keys since the age of two when he flushed his dad's down the crapper. It was Troupe's talent with the smoke machine that first drew the Captain's attention, and his ability to play the keyboard was an added bonus. When asked to join the Captains, he said “Who are you again? And why are all these old guys hanging around?”